December 2023

Christmas Cracker Jokes

What’s every elf’s favourite type of music?
Wrap
I got a Christmas card full of rice in the post today...
I think it was from my Uncle Ben
Why can't the Christmas tree stand up?
It doesn't have legs
Why does your nose get tired in winter?
It runs all day
What do you call Santa when he takes a break?
Santa Pause
Where do you find reindeer?
It depends on where you leave them!
Who is a Christmas tree’s favourite singer?
Spruce Springsteen
Why is the turkey never hungry at Christmas?
It's stuffed
What does Santa use to bake cakes?
Elf-raising flour
Why did the choir have to cancel their carol concert?
They caught tinsel-itis
What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?
Lost
Which of Santa's reindeer has the best moves?
Dancer!
Why was the turkey in the pop group?
Because he was the only one with drumsticks!
Why did the Grinch go to Bargain Booze?
He was searching for some holiday spirit
What's the difference between Santa Clause and a knight?
One slays a dragon, the other drags a sleigh!
What’s every parent’s favourite Christmas Carol?
Silent Night
Who do Santa’s helpers call when they’re ill?
The National Elf Service!